sunny & dark

Sometimes the most beautiful day can just bring bad news and it's like the sun is not even shining.  We all know the feeling and even though we know that time heals even the biggest wounds, it is still hard when we are in the moment.  Boooooo hissss to clueless volleyball coaches who cut those players who are the heart and soul of their team!!  Don't worry Juli, your sun will be out again soon.....  "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield

perky clerky

Was doing a little back-to-school shopping tonight with Juli and it's been awhile since I've been in a mall (3 whole months possibly!!) so I forgot one of the most annoying things about it.  I don't mean to complain and I swore this was not going to be a 'whining' blog, and I consider myself a very social person who truly enjoys chatting with strangers anytime, anywhere, as my daughter will annoyingly confirm, but I have to ask if I'm the only one who finds the perky sales clerks who are compelled (obviously trained by their store manager) to greet me immediately upon entering a store with an over-the-top bubbly voice:  "Hi How are you?" as though they really care??  If I'm just a grouchy shopper, please tell me so, but honestly, when I am moving from store to store just to browse, this continuous onslaught of hi-how-are-you-business becomes VERY ANNOYING!!  I try to be nice forcing myself in a pleasant voice to respond, "Hi I'm fine thank you"... of course they immediately ask if they can help you find something to which I nicely respond "no thank you, just looking" and then some of them continue to lurk around you and ask if they can help you find a size, etc, etc... and then, if I actually decide to buy something (meaning if I don't get too annoyed and finally walk out... hint to store manager, this causes a LOSS in sales, not a gain) and I am finally at the register paying.. it's hard for me to believe that the same perky sales clerk is often right there and guess what she says when I approach the register?  yup:  "Hi How are you?" as though she cares... and/or "Did you find everything you needed?" and it is only my solid upbringing that stops me (thanks mom) from saying what I really want to say:  "I'm fine, the same as when you asked me 10 minutes ago when I walked in" and "Yes, obviously I found what I needed because I'm standing here paying for it!".  SIGH.
"Leave Me Alone" The Veronicas

the eating thing

It's so weird with the whole eating and dieting thing.... sometimes for weeks straight I can be so "on it" - eating healthy, eating right, not over-eating, and in general staying on track,,,,,and then BAM, off the wagon I go and all "eating hell" breaks loose for no apparent reason.  I know I feel better when I eat better, so WHY do I sabotage myself and head into the deep abyss of carbolicious-ness and sweets and desserts and eating anything that is not nailed down at any time of day???  It's not even related to exercising which I do even during the bad eating times... it's just a general wave of 'ugly' in the eating department and I wish I could get to the bottom of it and somehow find a better balance.  I know that awareness of the problem is the road to a solution and I feel like I've gotten more consistent over the past couple of years, but "old habits die hard" I guess.  (inside joke for anyone who was with me on the last shoot.... yikes)  I've read plenty of self-help dieting books which give you the "top ten secrets of thin people" and "how to keep your resolutions" etc, and the knowledge and learning is right there IN MY BRAIN, but why can't I live it day to day all the time?  I suppose if I actually knew the answer to this, I would be relatively famous or a little bit wealthy if I found a lucrative way of imparting this knowledge to others.... but for now, I will just have to keep plugging away and start fresh tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.  As a side note, I've decided that because I love music, all my posts will have a song attached.... it might relate to the subject, or it might just be a song I want to share to make your day better because music always does that for me.... signing off with something a little bit inspirational:  Sister Hazel - "Change Your Mind"

weekly neighbors

It's interesting how living next door to someone for a week can give you a quick snap shot of the family dynamic. During the summer, we have the 'pleasure' of living next door to a beach rental home, and the reality is, it's like pot luck hit or miss or whatever else you want to call it in terms of the families who arrive each week.  It's quite a scene to watch them come and go each Saturday morning usually in a frenzy in both directions with lots of beach gear in tow, often in beverly hillbillies style.  Here's how the summer has shaped up in the neighbor department - we went from the "egyptian family" who arrived directly from Eygpt and they were lovely, but they happened to be here during a massive heat wave and the poor women in the family were on the beach with their full head dresses and long robes in the hot sun.  Another interesting thing about them was that their children went around selling (horrible tasting watered down) lemonade door to door.  Slightly different than how the local kids do it around here.  The following week was the "loud family"... they did not seem to have a volume button, maybe there were all hard of hearing?  After they left, we enjoyed the "singing family" from California - their little girls were singing all day long!!  One seemed to have a knack for the opera style, and they mixed it up with pop songs, often in the outdoor shower, but pretty much all the time.  They even went to kids karaoke one night - and honestly, it was pretty pleasant because they were a happy bunch.  The following week we welcomed the "quiet family" and needless to say we hardly knew they were around.  Not much to report about them because they were QUIET!  ha.  After them came the "mean family" and I don't mean they were mean to any of us, it's just that they were so nasty to each other!   They didn't seem to a normal tone when having a regular conversation.  It was a nasty rude attitude all day long and all night long, starting from the papa on down the line. The funniest part of the whole thing was that when they were leaving and they all pulled away, the dad was the last one left getting his car packed up and I happened to be on the front porch and heard him talking sweet baby talk to HIS DOG!!!!  I could not believe my ears.... "who's daddy's girl?!" he spoke to sweetly and I cannot tell you how hilarious it was after listening to him curse and bark at his family all week long. Whew, not sad to see them go. This past week we have enjoyed the pleasant company of the "Long Island family" and I wish they would not leave.  Nice and normal and sociable and sweet - every last one of them right down to the little boy who is about 2 years old and I want to hug him up so badly.  But sadly, they left yesterday and it is a mystery as to the new arrivals... so far they will be named 'the invisibles' because I know they are there (cars in the driveway), but there has not yet been a sighting!  Hopefully this is a sign of a peaceful week ahead, but either way, I will be working in NYC so I will miss most of their stay..... over n out and wondering what OUR OWN family dynamic would be called by an objective viewer......?  

a special gift

This weekend, I was given this poster as a gift from 2 very special colleagues.  I cried when I opened it.  Words to live by... I love it.  Thanks, yellow house!

an addiction

I wonder if a person can be literally and/or physically addicted to exercise...or is it more of an OCD type of condition?  Last summer I developed a bad case of planter faciitis in my left foot and I literally had to stop running and even take a break from other types of exercise which involved being on my feet, so I thought 'ok, I'll take a little break and let it get better'... no big deal right?  well not exactly.  I actually got pretty depressed about it.  One minute I was feeling sorry for myself and the next minute getting agitated about nothing.  Finally I could not take it any more and had to just get back to it... I knew it was better for me to be in pain while exercising, than to deal with the mental state of NOT exercising because either way I was in pain!  And this is not about weight gain or worries about physical appearance.  I am not that stupid to think that a few weeks without exercise would cause a tragic set back in either of those areas, but I was completely losing my mind and found myself often on the verge of tears... like an addict without his fix to some extent.  Or maybe I have a mild case of OCD and can't change my routine but to be clear, I change up the routine itself often.  It's not just running, it might be exercise classes, personal training, biking or weights, etc.... but there is always something in the realm of exercise and it's pretty much several times per week for pretty much as long as I can remember except for after c-sections and thyroid surgery.  With the foot thing, I should mention I did see a doctor initially, and got orthotics in my running shoes, but they actually made it even more painful  since they are like running on hard wood which is so strange.  But oddly once I got back to exercising, my foot eventually healed on its own which was a great relief.  Which brings me to my next point that must be shared.  I have discovered that my MIND is more willing than my body at times (case and point with running despite the foot pain) and I'm told that most people have the opposite problem... their mind gives out before their body would really have to do so.  I guess this is very good news and then comes my last and final piece of bizarre - I have a seriously crazy visualization technique when I'm exercising and trying to push myself as far as I can go and here is what I do:  I visualize that one of my kids in serious danger and if I stop running or stop lifting a weight or doing lunges or whatever the thing is before the goal I've set, I try to picture that they will not survive if I stop, so it forces me to take it to my ultimate limit!  Is this crazy stuff or what??  Am I normal at all?  Sometimes I am almost in tears because I make it so real in my head that when I finally do get to the point where I just can't do it, I feel so sad because it seemed so real.  And of course, it does not work if the child I'm envisioning has recently gotten on my nerves, as you can probably imagine. I'm laughing right now because I should probably NOT post this since someone out there might feel they need to seek some kind of intervention or therapy for me... haha... but seriously you would be amazed at how far you can push yourself with this technique, I kid you not!!  (Unless you don't like your kids very much.)  I just read an article about my father's friend who is 74 and doing an ironman triathlon - and for those who don't follow the sport, that is a 2.4 mile swim, following by a 112 mile bike ride, followed by a full marathon - yes, 26.2 miles or running and yes, all of that in a row on the same day!  That sounds daunting for a 24-year old, then add 50 years of good living!  wowza he is my hero truly.

check out his story at the link below.... and I gotta wonder if he uses any visualization techniques?  

http://www.northjersey.com/sports/165042336_Oradell_s_Roy_Lamendola_competing_in_triathlons_at_age_74.html

not reality

First let me say that as a tv producer, I believe have the credentials to share this insight with some level of expertise having sat thru over 1000 commercial shoots and at least quadruple that in edit sessions (I might have to take the time to figure out the actual numbers on that) so I know first hand how footage can be shot and manipulated to come out a certain way as an end result.  As a counterpoint, I will add that I am only a 'second hand tv watcher' - just like people who inhale second hand smoke.  I never initiate the tv watching, but I vaguely float in and out of whatever the tv watchers in my house are into.  I can thank Tommy for introducing me to "Modern Family" (hilarious) and Jonathan for enlightening me to "Ridiculousness" which I have mentioned in a previous post.  I can thank my husbandTom for my enjoyment of "24", "Lost" and "Spartacus"  (before Christian Grey there was Spartacus & Crixus - trust me on this).  And Juli is the queen of REALITY TV..... you name it, she watches it - sweet sixteens, brides, bachelors, bachelorettes, top models, fashion crisis shows, cooking competitions, cake baking, home redecorating, and the list goes on and on.... thankfully she is not a Snookie fan, but we  have both seen enough to get that scene loud and clear.  All that being said, does anyone out there get that it's all a big farce?  These people on these shows are supposed to be 'real' and what we are supposedly watching is them existing in their every day life, or doing what they would normally do in a certain situation.... but the REALITY is that there are cameras around these people while they are 'acting normal' so... (stay with me here).... once you put a camera there, (if it is not a hidden camera), they are no longer acting normal - it is impossible!!  They are now 'acting for the camera' therefore it is NOT REALITY TV AT ALL, but rather, programs with real people who are acting, therefore it's not even good quality imitation tv.  If you think about it, we are better off observing people with interesting lives without the cameras and WRITING their stories and then casting actors to portray like them so you actually get more of a real picture of how they behave and possibly a good storyline.  I would venture to guess that most of the things these reality tv people do are only 'for the cameras', they are probably not really that interesting or ridiculous or absurd at all and it would probably be fairly boring tv.  The producers of these shows are most likely advising them how to behave in situations, kinda like a director helps the actors in a scene.  Do you really think the 'intimate moments' on bachelorette are real when there are at least 2-3 cameras with cameramen (look at all the different angles they are capturing), as well as some lights and lighting crew.... and add on the sound guy who has put microphones on them and needs to monitor the sound quality.... there is a hair and make-up team who monitors that the whole time... then of course there are producers nearby watching since it is their responsibility to make this show red hot interesting to get good ratings.... so the "intimate" scenes between the bachelorette (ugh, that annnoyyyyying baby talk voice of hers) and her dates are as intimate as you inviting 2 or 3 cameramen to videotape your own life while you 'act normal' - think about how impossible that would be given the above description of the crew who would be in your house while you attempted to do this?   At least Seinfeld made boring everyday life FUNNY using good writers and actors and we can all relate to some of those episodes for sure......I can't wait for the reality tv cycle to end and for someone to come up with the next ORIGINAL idea for programming.  In the meantime, I will continue to inhale the second hand smoke of reality tv programming and try to view it as bad comedy.  I might even learn how to bake a better cake, or learn what not to wear, or how to walk the runway in a fashion show - hey that actually came in handy a few months ago..... so maybe it's not all bad after all, but let's take a closer look and see it for what it is because it is not exactly "reality".  you with me?